My life changed so I can define it.

You know when they say, “Your life flashes in front of you right before you get in an accident where your life is threatened”? Well, in my case, when I went to that Emergency Room approximately 2.5 years ago, and I was told, “You could have died.” My life, started playing over and over and over in my head. It happened to me after I realized, I could have died and I wouldn’t have had a chance to think about it.

I don’t think I would be here [many of you know my current situation, if you don’t ask me], if I didn’t have such a loving family, and if I didn’t have friends who made me feel loved. When I was laying on that hospital bed, in tremendous amount of pain, it gave me hope. Hope that I could change, that I was capable of change. I realized, how much control I didn’t have, and how much i did have. When life takes away that control, you really start seeing the consequences of your decisions. I knew that I was destined to be someone greater than who I had been.

That incident really changed my life. It will probably define who I am for a very long time. It’s really different for everyone. Maybe it doesn’t take a “near-death” experience for others, but it certainly was mine.

I realized, there’s really one chance at this life. I feel like I’ve wasted many moments, but sometimes, I feel like those wasted moments are meant to be. They are meant to be recognized later on, for self-growth. We are meant to realize how much moments we have wasted so that we can see change in ourselves. At that moment of realization, I decided that I’m gonna live every moment working towards my dreams, goals, aspirations, and my happiness. 

Yeah, as my great friend Darryl once said, “we only got one decade of being 20-30, i wanna have fun”. And to him I answered, you define your own happiness man. I mean, you really do, you make you happy. It’s funny, I really realized that we define our own feelings. When I was in pain, I had a choice. Do I make it so that this pain is what defines me? or, is this pain here to remind me of how much I don’t have control over my life and that I need to change? I thought to myself, yes, I feel the pain, but how I react to it, I can change that.

This theory of mine, was even proven by my little 18 month old niece. Whenever she hits her head or trips and falls… my family chooses not to say “Awww, baby are you OK?” and act panicked, but instead, calmly encourages her and ensures her that she is now safe. In the end, she doesn’t even cry and she laughs it off. How amazing is that? That a child that young, has the power to change how she reacts to pain? I realized, that pain was not the only thing you can define your reactions/feelings to. There’s also a lot of other things: Sadness, Guilt, Failure, Fear, and Sacrifice.

This part of my life is really scary. I feel like I have complete control of my future. What I do now, will affect me for the next few years. What I aspire to be, may even affect me for the rest of my life. It will change how easy and/or how difficult my journey to my dreams will be. As my friends said, there no “formal route” this time around, you basically have to make your own path.

I concluded to this. As my friends move away, and even some stay, I will try my best to make every moment count. I’ve probably re-evaluated my life many times, and now that I look at it, I feel better than I did when I was in that hospital bed 2.5 years ago.

Thanks for reading my thoughts.

David

2 years ago  /  3 notes

Wow.

I’m sitting in my psyc class learning about audio, hearing and etc. All of the sudden I got in a mindset of taking in the scene of being in class. And bam! It hit me, I’m really gonna miss just going to class learning random stuff that someone who has devoted their lives to the subject, is standing in front to pass on their knowledge. I know I’ve been feelingthat schools been a drag. But all of the sudden, I feel a little motivation to finish strong. This is quite strange. Missing something before it’s gone. :) D

2 years ago  /  0 notes

The end is near.

Graduation has really put things in a different perspective. Getting ready to file for graduation. Planning for my last quarter. Planning for my future.

I will just point my domain to my blog for now. I’ve been needing enough artistic inspiration lately to finally create the design of my website. Time will only tell.

2 years ago  /  Notes

FOOTBALL!!

FOOTBALL SEASON JUST STARTED!! YEAYUH!!!

I have waited 222 days, or 7 months and 10 days, for this very day since Super Bowl 43!!!!

Good Bye Free Sundays!!

-D

2 years ago  /  0 notes